Yes I Have Kids

If you found play dough in your invitation or if you come to my house and see Crayon on every glass surface or stickers stuck to the windows then you guessed it - I have kids.

That's it. Every day I see more obvious signs I'm a mom, but I'll add those later. Right now I need to go wrestle something from my toddler.

Little Toddler of Terror

Holy Cow Moment #?:  Yes. I said it.  My toddler is a terror!  Sometimes. 

As she rips off her own plants and diaper and streaks down the hall I'm left open mouthed and frustrated.  It's nearly eleven at night and I am tired.  But what can you do after chasing said toddler for the last few hours EVERYWHERE.  Nothing.  So i sit and wait for her to come back.  I later will check for wet spots in the carpet.

And finally terror comes back.  Baby number two is kicking the pee out of me and now I have to wrestle the bare-butt toddler into a new diaper and more pants.  At some point she will go to sleep - I am sure of it.  At some point!

<Sigh>  These are the moments that you laugh at the next day, but wish would end the night before.

WARNING - Beached Whale

Holy Cow Moment:

I’ve hit beached whale status- in my mind anyway. 3 weeks to go!

 Having kids and then being pregnant changes your perspective on the to do list.  The new list Is “what I would do if the darn kids would leave me the blank alone.”  Your mentality to this list is get done one thing and call the day a success. 

All I want to do is sit.  Will the toddler let me sit?  No.  Of course not.  Will the toddler not be a total and complete evil human?  No of course not.  I want to scream that there are words for adults like her and one rhymes with witch.  Of course the whole effectiveness of name calling losses its appeal when  the person doesn’t understand the insult.  Right now the terror of trying to raise two kids is overwhelming.  I have no idea how I will get two kids down to bed alone.  Will she still fight me tooth and nail when her little brother makes his way into the world?  Probably.  Maybe I should just give up on the idea of ever having time to myself ever again and realize that bed time could now take three hours to complete instead of the current one and a half.  UGH.

Holy Cow what did I do?

Forgetting - Just About Everything

Holy Cow Moment ?:  What did I forget?  Oh, everything from a simple word to who was posting my author blog.  But the biggest thing I forgot was how much I forgot about forgetting during pregnancy.

You mind blocks out the un-pleasantries.  It really, really does. Anything from the pain of a stretching and tearing muscles in your stomach, to joint pain, and the elusive pregnancy brain.  One new thing that I know I didn’t forget is the crotch pain.  Okay the doctors are much more PC.  They call it pelvic discomfort.  Let’s call it what it is – CROTCH PAIN.  It can take me a minute or two to be able to walk normally after sitting for an extended period of time. 

So there you have it.  Five weeks till delivery and I barely remember my own name and to lay out my daughters clothes for the next day.  On top of the memory issues, walking has become a torturous event.  So why am I doing this again?  Oh right, because my mommy brain helped me to forget what stunk about pregnancy.  Maybe I will do a post of on the postpartum… that one will make you wonder how it is you forgot enough in order to allow yourself to get knocked up again.

Holy cow I did it again.  The longest 5 weeks of my life yet to come.

Dad's and Their Daughters

Holy Cow #? :  I never thought I would see the day my husband attempted pig tails on his own accord. 

My husband’s attempts at hair are, well, less than perfect.  He does get results though.  As we talked on the phone  a few weeks back he told me, “I did our daughters hair so she would look pretty for her play.”

Now said daughter is 20 months old so doing her hair in any capacity is difficult.  Add the inefficiencies of a man doing a little girls hair and you can imagine my skepticism and my delight at the same time.  I wasn’t sure what I would be walking in to see that evening. 

The good news is when I saw my little munchkin meander her way in front of the parents with her class she looked adorable.  Perfect, no, but super cute none the less.  The fact that my husband wanted her to look ‘pretty’ for her play probably added to the cuteness factor.  He did a good job though.  I am glad he is attempting to figure out this whole girl thing.  Kudo’s to dads with daughters.

Holy Cow my husband makes me smile a lot! 

Happy Valentine’s Day early to my readers! 

The Silverware Heist

Holy Cow moment ?:  Where has all the silverware gone?  I wonder to myself where in the world have all my spoons disappeared too as I try and eat cereal with a fork.

I was standing in the living room diligently sorting through baby clothes.  What can my new son wear vs. what needs to be donated, tossed, or kept in a box that I will never open again BUT swear I need?  While I got teary eyed over my daughters tiny newborn outfits I hear a familiar rattling.  Metal on metal jingling.  Creeping around the corner of my kitchen I don’t see anything, but I do hear the noise louder.  Then I hear the thunk of a drawer closing.  I move a little slower into the kitchen and around the island to see the tiny culprit.  My toddler, bless her little self, is holding a spoon and dipping it in her cup of water. 

What should go through my head is the concern that my child is growing independent.  I should be worried that she is taking things upon herself.  Instead I feel relieved that I now know where all the silverware is going.  I never knew that I would need to worry about silverware being used to eat cheese, water, crackers, and whatever else a toddler deems worthy of adult eating utensils.  I sigh.  One more thing to note of your child.  Normal everyday items that adults forget to see the value in will soon become a toy.  You silverware will be abducted and re-purposed for hitting your stove, eating water from a cup, and something to bang on your wooden table – usually the fork with pointy side down.

Holy Cow the excitement through a  child’s eyes.

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If you don’t know about my authors blog please feel free to visit at Michelle Ziegler Author OR www.michellezieglerauthor.com

Mom's Plate

Holy Cow Moment ?:  Diet plans are for the birds, just have a kid to eat all your food for you.

Did you know that food - the exact same food mind you, will always taste better on mom's plate?  My toddler will refuse her plate and all that is on it.  She will insist that she is full if no alternate option appears.  However, when mom's plate is within reach the tune will change.  I had no idea that blessing a food item with the luxury of being on mom's plate automatically made it better.You'd think with this option that I wouldn't have gained as much weight as I have with baby 2.  And no, I will not tell you how much that is.  Let's say it is more than what the doctors would like.  (Yes that would be pretty much anything over 5 lbs. Stupid charts.)

Holy Cow I will probably never eat like a normal person again.  Maybe I should start taking enough for 1.5 people - then again with my luck she won't eat that day and I will be left looking like a pig.