Monday, April 23, 2012

For the love of shoes – er I mean my daughter

Holy Cow Moment #: When did I start to be completely practical when it came to fashion? Not that I was ever a fashionista by any stretch, but now more so then ever I actually utter the words – “Well I only need a brown pair and a black pair." I am talking about shoes.
Yes I know, what kind of woman says that. What kind of woman in her right might says she only needs two pairs of shoes?
Now don’t panic I still have all those shoes that I have bought through the years, the kind of shoe that you wear three times a year. But for every day wear I have actually settled for 2 pairs of sandals and 1 pair of ‘winter’ shoes. Welcome to mommy-hood in the middle class.

Becoming a mom and not being independently wealthy means that I now have to share my love of shoes – well the budget anyway. My daughter has a couple of pairs of cute shoes though, so no worries, she is not deprived.

I've decided that you really know you love someone when you not only give up buying new shoes just for fun, but when you share whatever shoe money you could have had so your child has shoes too. Ignore the fact your stomach is forever ruined-there is nothing like giving up shoes.

Holy cow maybe I am looking at this all wrong! Instead of 3 pairs of every day shoes I have three and my daughters. Sure I can't wear them but I get to dress her up and take her out too, so it's almost as fun.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Butterflies and Balloons

Holy Cow moment #: Having a family can make you love your spouse even more then the day you got married. What did your Husband (our partner/spouse) do for you this week to make you smile?

We love our kids, our dogs or any Pets in general.  We give them unconditional love and somehow forget that thirty minutes ago your darling/s was just terrorizing your world.  But sometimes out beloved husbands (or fill in the blank) get forgotten.  I think it says a lot in itself that they don’t mind taking the backseat or being cast aside while we rear the young that your spouse oh so sweetly helped you create or adopt.  Usually it takes two, although, in today’s world maybe that isn’t super true – it also might be you, a cup of something ‘special’ and a doctor.  Who knows. If you are the latter, rather than the former then well, hmm.  Then I guess what did you do to make you smile this week?

For the more traditional household - My husband constantly amazes me.  Mostly because he hasn’t left me yet, running away as fast as humanly possible.  I know me, I know I am nuts some days.  Between emotional melt downs to pure exhaustion he seems to keep coming back for more.  I should smile at just that.  But today I woke up to see a huge pink butterfly balloon in our kitchen, just floating there serenely.  I know it is for our daughter.  She has an odd fascination with balloons, as I assume most children do.  The small and cheap gesture makes me smile knowing that he always thinks of us.  One day I get chocolate milk another day she gets a balloon.  He keeps us guessing on who will get spoiled that day.  The part that makes me smile most of all is the thought of my husband, a man who is male, masculine, anything but delicate carrying out a huge pink butterfly just because he knows that it will make our daughter smile.  I want to say this is one of those moments where it takes a true man to be a father. 

What did your husband do that put a smile on your face?  From cleaning the bathroom to simply letting you watch your favorite show I know they did something that makes you remember why it is you married them in the first place.  And here’s a tip, write down what they did so you remember those moments when you are an inch away from recreating an episode of the Soprano’s and driving halfway across the country to bury the body on the Jersey Shore. 

Friday, April 13, 2012

Crawling Helmet?

Holy Cow moment ?:  Did I just age 40 years?

I understand safety.. who doesn’t want their child to thrive and not have a million visits to the hospital or emergency room?  What normal parent isn’t striving for their child to make it to adulthood to become the next millionaire and save us all from our working class lives.  But isn’t it a little extreme to force our child into the crawling helmet?  I understand their our extreme sports, I even am starting to embrace the biking helmet for a jaunt through the part – sometimes; but a crawling helmet?  Gasp- How did we make it this far in life without one? 

Oh no -  I sound like an old timer.  “Seatbelts? who needs seatbelts?”, “Back in my day we didn’t have car seats or cribs.”  Okay thank you old people I get it, I truly do but in most cases these are life saving devices that have some sound research behind them.  Also 60 years ago high speeds were 45 mph not 75, cars were metal not fiberglass, cribs were new wood instead of aged drying out wood where the hardware is now loose.  But a crawling helmet? 

You can’t protect your child form everything – as much as I want to.  We can’t stop them from falling, we can’t stop them from shoving everything and I mean everything in their mouths.  We can’t protect them from heartbreak, or mistakes – or can we?  Padded rooms seem like an awesome idea?  Lock away our child and only let them watch the Leave it to Beaver reruns or  The Brady Bunch. But in the end kids have to learn somehow and some mistakes and ouches or owies are for a purpose – they are a part of growing up.  Besides if your toddler or baby are that far from you all the time that you think your best option is a crawling helmet maybe it’s time to re-evaluate.  Once in a while you will step away and they will fall, but most of the time we are around our children in order to lessen falls and bumps, but if they never fall they never can learn to get back up.  It’s scary out there, the world is a death trap but I can’t push my paranoia on my child.  It just isn’t healthy.

Holy Cow where is our world headed?

Tell me what you think?  Would you use the helmet or not?  Maybe you have a great example that might just change my mind?

An article on MSN was out today if you want to read more on the helmet and other mom's point of views.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Monday by any other name

Monday mornings are the worst… well next to Sunday nights.  I hate the impending doom – er I mean the inevitable beginning to the work week.  I dread leaving my daughter every morning but unfortunately I was not born into money and worse yet I didn’t marry for money.  I know right?  The one thing you can control and most of us marry for love.  Okay, actually I wouldn’t have it any other way but I still hate leaving my daughter.

Why is it that she is a nightmare at night, always!  The time when you can spend every second with her, you can hold and cuddle her.  You can watch a cartoon or play with her favorite ball, but yet she is usually Miss Busy Bee and doesn’t want to cuddle or sit with me at all.  I get pushed away by my almost eleven month old as if she has better things to do, I guess I can’t compete with the activity table and fisher price cell phone.  Fine whatever.  But still if she were this nightmare child in the morning AND I didn’t have to worry about my husband getting sleep I just might not hate leaving to go to work.  It would make my life just that much easier knowing I get to leave and take a mental break before I inadvertently put her up on ebay for a price that can’t be denied.

I guess children know?  They must realize that mom needs a reason to come home, she needs the mental anguish as a reminder to not forget to come home.  Granted her smile of joy when I walk into to get her from “school” makes everything worth while.  I know she missed me and sometimes I really think these few precious hours away strengthen our relationship because I am ready to deal with her grumpy butt, but better yet I cherish her smiles.  I love the moments when I get to hold her, or when she puts her tiny, chubby, baby hands on either side of my face and pulls me into her.  These are the moments that save her from her would be ebay fate and also the moments I want to cherish because I know that all too soon she really  won’t want anything to do with me. 
Monday morning is hard to leave because of her content and sweet disposition as i feed her before work, but Monday nights have to be the best because she misses me.

Holy Cow who knew that although having a child has made something’s in life harder – like leaving the house or having to return to the work on a Monday she has actually given me something to look forward to all day.  Sure she is driving me at high speeds into a mental break down some days, but for the most part I am enjoying the ride - but for the love is it hard to get out of the house in the mornings, especially Mondays.  If you thought Mondays were bad before, just have a child and they get worse. If we called Monday by any other name would it still suck?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Little Things

I found a star pasta in my spaghetti today – courtesy of my ten and a half month old daughter.  The little star made me tear up and my heart squeeze at how much I miss her each day I am at work.  Isn’t it funny how your child is forever implanted into your life?  You know they will be around forever – or a minimum 18 years baring all catastrophes (I pray no one ever has one.) But you never think about how  the little things are what really imprint your baby into your life.  A star shaped pasta from her dinner the night before that goodness knows how it got into the lunch you packed, or the tiny sock that somehow found its way into your pants pocket in the wash the night before.  The little drool mark that annoyed you as you left for work is now dried but the pink tinge (thank you Benadryl) is still there.  The odd longing to hold your baby in your arms (and baby could even be your twenty year old, they are still you baby – of course holding a twenty year old in your arms is a bit different then a twenty pound toddler) the longing stays with you throughout the day.

The memory of how my daughter reached out last night, mouth wide open (because somehow she thinks this is a kiss) and slobbered not only my mouth by also my nose still makes me giggle.  Ok, so really everything out kids do that is nice makes us love them even more… husbands well…just kidding.  I love my husband too.   I love the Reese’s Easter egg that I found in the fridge after a rough night or the chocolate milk that he just thought I needed (I have a little addiction I won’t lie.)  But in life its all the little things that make us feel loved – and help us to not eat our young or bite the heads off of our husbands (or wives). 

So when you are sitting down – er I mean standing up trying to gulp down your coffee while balancing a child on one hip, laundry on the other, maybe listening to another child screaming and smelling your dinner burn remember the small things that make your day complete.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Free Range Baby

Warning:  Do not read if you are thinking of starting a family - This is not an advertisement to become a parent.  It is on the other hand, the reality everyone will face at some point. 

Holy Cow Moment ?:  Raising children is hard.  Raising a child can try your last nerve.  Raising a child is an adventure and for most the most wonderful and educational time in their lives.  Frankly raising a child is not for the weak or faint of heart.  Raising a child will show you your straights, your weaknesses, if you are mentally fit (although usually that is a good thing to know before procreating.)  So based on the fact that children can be a lot to deal with don't we all just need a break sometimes?  Some parental approaches to parenthood differ from my own and that of people I know, and although I can't say they are wrong they are not very public friendly one version is:

The Free Range baby

What is a Free Range baby you ask?  It’s the child running wild in the store or screaming down an aisle and then sliding into your ankle like your home plate and he just won the game.  (Thank you little boy for showing me my bones are not as brittle as I thought – although I still bruise easily glad I know this.)  Actually this is just a child in general.  what makes this a "free range" incident is that the parent clearly did not care and made no attempt to stop said child.  In fact when the child hit me and i said "Ouch" and almost dropped my own baby the parent gave me the dirty look as if i should have predicted her child’s appalling choices and moved, Sorry mom of the year my crystal ball is broken at the moment.

I understand you can't watch everything your child is doing at every second, kids move fast and they get away; we get it.  But if for some reason your child is not embracing  the rules of common courtesy then attempt to lead by example.  I get it, my little one loves to pet strangers - I do not understand why and I seriously feel awful when I miss her rouge hand.  I hope that soon she will learn about personal space, perhaps maybe she will learn about personal space when she is old enough to understand about an indoor voice. 

I hope I have not offended anyone but I really do want to know what goes through the Free Range parents head.  Why do you think it is ok to allow your child/ren to run free in a store interrupting everyone else?  Why do you think it is ok for them to toss out every ball in the ball bin and then not have to put them away?  I see the parents who had their child escape, track down their darling and reprimand them – Good for you by the way. 

Holy Cow does it annoy me more now that I have a child to see someone simply not care what or where their kids have gone.  One issue I worry about is safety.  If you child falls and hurts themselves – NEW FLASH you don’t have the right to sue simply because you can’t or don’t want to parent.  Every child has a bad day, every parent has a worse day and those parents are easy to spot.  Ignore the onlookers who are judging you because your child is screaming because he or she is safely in a cart under your watch, the parents and those with common sense feel for you and respect your choice.

Oh Thank you …

Holy Cow Moment ?:  As a parent you find yourself “Thanking you’re lucky Stars”. “Thanking God”, “praising the heavens” or whatever else phrase you can think of whenever you see a child worse than your own.   While you’re locked away with your tiny little minion or brat, evil one or whatever else you might call your spawn – er I mean child you have a tendency to think your child is the worst one out there and you have been cursed.  But rest assured you are not and they are not. 

My daughter is active.  She is a sweetheart for a ten month old but she had more energy then a chipmunk on speed – I assume they have a lot of energy but it might just be the squeaky voices. Either way she never sleeps and hates to sit still EVER.  My recent venture was to hit up Toy-R-Us, it was  supposed to be quick but it never turns out that way.  While we were there my child, belted in or not, would not stop.  She wanted to be out of the cart, then in, then pushing it ,then sitting backwards etc etc etc.  She isn’t a bad girl just a busy girl and when you don’t have the ability to walk you have to depend on others to help you expel your energy.  She does listen when you say no, but her comprehension of no at ten months old is limited, or so I keep telling myself. 

After fighting her (juggling her) for thirty minutes, only five of which have been spend shopping, I am ready to surrender and leave the store.  I guess I  realized I had to give up things when I became a mom but I didn’t think it meant I had to be a shut in all the time.  My daughters saving grace and the sanity check I needed came in the form of another child, he was possibly one, but maybe around my daughters same age.  He let out a blood curdling scream that made my daughter and myself jump.  I think we both thought a little free range baby had run into something and split his head open.  But no, we were wrong.  His mother had simply put him into the cart – I know gasp how dare she.   He screamed for a minute straight until his father showed up and removed him.  I figured that this meant he got what he wanted and he would cease to cry – well scream really.  No, once again wrong assumption.  As my daughter wide eyed and confused watched as this little boy was cuddled and escorted from the toy aisle I realized that my little girl is just smart.  She isn’t bad,  she isn’t a pain, she is just learning. 

SO thank you demon child at Toys-R-Us.   You have helped my relationship with my daughter and the realization that no matter how she is wearing me out or driving me bonkers at least she smiles through it all.  People react to her with a smile and a laugh not a cringe and the fastest route away from her.  I feel for the parents with the screaming kid, I wish I could help you but I can’t.  Either way just remember that just as soon as you think your child is the worst go to Toys-R-Us or anything other children’s store and you are bound to see at least one child worse or more crazy then your child.  I guess something to remember is that in my case my kid isn’t actual bad she is just CRAZY and keeps my hands full at all time.  But then again what else are a mothers hands for if not to play with her child – I just wish mine would find and interest in shopping instead of playing – or maybe not.  Maybe this is Gods way of helping me save money since I no longer have the energy to go to the store, let alone leave the house.

Holy Cow how are we all getting through the infant/terrible two's/terrible teens/raising children in general?