Saturday, June 9, 2012

Why Child Why ...

Holy Cow moment #?:  Has anyone else sat at wondered, "Why Child Why?"

This morning as I am trying to do what I love, something to take my mind off the stresses of reality I find myself saying these three words, why child why.
A letter to my child:

"Dear Toddler,
   I believe you came home with the wrong parents 1 year ago.  We sleep, you do not.  This in itself is enough to make me believe something went amis. 

Oh child of my loins,  real people need at least eight hours of sleep.  From Dr. Someone and another Dr. Someone else, they suggest that toddlers sleep around thirteen to fourteen hours.  Perhaps we should switch out I want to be a Princess  for medical reviews and journals so that you understand the key words here. 

Oh darling daughter, learn to speak big people talk.  Mommy can't understand you and the high pitched squeal you have so aptly developed in order to communicate needs to go. Mommy hears you loud and clear i do not need a special alarm notifying me that i might have missed something.

Oh sweet little girl, mommy is a few steps away from placing you in a clean, comfy box on the side of the street forgoing any profit just to get a few minutes peace.  Midnight is not a bed time, it is time for bars to close, creepy stalkers to return home and little girls to sleep.

Ah my darling peanut, please stop the idle chatter and rest your tiny head.  Even mommies are human and frankly this one is going to crack like an egg. 

                                                                                     All my love,
                                                                                       Mommy - although i am still questioning if you are really mine or not.

P.S.  Please stop finding new things to injure yourself.  I didn't even know that you could hurt yourself with an infant brush - although how you got this in your crib I will never know."

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