Tuesday, September 4, 2012

When “Advice” Goes Wrong

ADVISORY: This is a rant.  Do not take anything personal - but if you notice you may be a culprit or a victim then you may laugh with me.  Culprit's learn from your mistakes.


Holy Crap Cow Moment ?: When is enough enough? How do you stop the "advice diarrhea?"

  How much advice is useful?  Well, when the advice in unsolicited sometimes none.  While you are pregnant you hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions, which can get annoying, but what happens after the baby is here?
For the most part you will always hear the “if you just did this, that wouldn’t happen.”  Although most likely a lot of parents you know or run into will say “oh, we had that same issue and this is how we dealt…”  Which is advice based on experience, okay, I think that can be helpful.

Sadly though there are some that step over the bounds and criticize.  Maybe criticize isn’t what they mean to do but when they can’t approve of a single thing that you are doing to raise your child that is exactly what they are doing.  Easy to overlook one or two comments, harder when you reach the fiftieth.

How do you handle the grandparent/parent/family member/friend/etc that know everything? 

  • Sure you can ignore the advice, but at some point they get offended.  (Yes I know, I tried)
  •  So next step, explain how your parenting is different.  Now you are being disrespectful and saying they are wrong (which you probably are but not on purpose. People giving the ‘advice’ usually will take any disagreement of their views as rude). 
  • Maybe you can avoid them as a last resort?  No, that means you are being rude and once again, disrespectful.

But what other passive alternatives are there?  Now, the above is assuming you care about the relationship with the over-advising party.

If you answered no to that last statement then my suggestion is to block the caller ID, avoid any place that person may hang out, and when all else fails run them down with any motorized option of your choice – by accident of course.
I would like to remind involved parties that advice is an option, not a must.  Too bad this rant will fall onto the ears of those that have the same issue opposed to those that are guilty of the crime.
Dictionary.com says:
 ad·vice [ad-vahys] Show IPA noun
1. an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, etc.: I shall act on your advice.
2. a communication, especially from a distance, containing information: Advice from abroad informs us that the government has fallen. Recent diplomatic advices have been ominous.
3. an official notification, especially one pertaining to a business agreement: an overdue advice.

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