Monday, October 15, 2012

The Joys of Pregnancy

I have officially broken out the elastic pants.  Why?  Well who wouldn’t want an excuse to wear elastic pants? 

So what if I can still get into my normal – pre-baby pants.  They are getting tighter every day and why put the baby and myself in discomfort for the sake of saying “I’m still wearing my normal pants.”  My response is generally going to be “good for you.  Want a cookie?”

So great news for me.
I no longer need to hide my, never been flat, stomach.  Now I get to flaunt any rounding-out there is. 
I get to wear elastic pants – as stated above. 
Your libido takes a jump for the better – well you think it is for the better while going through it and I doubt any husbands complain.
Your chest has a tendency to grow – okay not great for you if you are larger busted but once again no spouses seem to complain.
You get to gain weight and have something to blame it on.
You have a great reason to eat the extra serving of pie at Thanksgiving OR turn down that nasty casserole your aunt makes every year.  Just claim you will toss your cookies due to its ingredients being an aversion. 
Your hair and nails grow better and faster than ever before.
People claim you glow.  Frankly that sounds radioactive and unhealthy, but what woman doesn’t love to feel attractive.
You have an excuse of why you are tired and need to nap.
You have an excuse of why you DESPERATLY need to go to a burger joint of ice cream parlor STAT.  (Who doesn’t want to use the word Stat.)
You get a whole new wardrobe.
Everyone is nicer to you, including the public, but not your next door lesbian neighbor.

I know there are a million more things that make pregnancy rock but I will stop there for now.  I am ignoring morning sickness, constipation, exhaustion, food aversions, crying all the time, bloating, swelling, having to push a boulder through a straw sized hole, prenatal diabetes, preeclampsia, and the fact that you will have to someday deal with a toddler.

Holy cow I love my elastic pants.

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