Warning Labels - Caution You are Now Entering Parenthood

Holy Cow Moment:  If your job came with a warning label what would it be?

Parenthood:

Warning: May cause severe heart issues, nervous twitches, lack of energy, unexplained weight gain, loss of adult vocabulary, disappearance of time, unidentified stains on clothing, homes may suddenly appear tiny, hair loss or unexplained hair-styles, lack of patience, leaky bladders during sneezes or extreme laughter, uncontrolled laughter, millions of smiles, a weak spot for a tiny human, loss of concern if your house is messy, overwhelming pride, and complete disregard for everything else wrong with your body now. 

The Joys of Pregnancy

I have officially broken out the elastic pants.  Why?  Well who wouldn’t want an excuse to wear elastic pants? 

So what if I can still get into my normal – pre-baby pants.  They are getting tighter every day and why put the baby and myself in discomfort for the sake of saying “I’m still wearing my normal pants.”  My response is generally going to be “good for you.  Want a cookie?”

So great news for me.

I no longer need to hide my, never been flat, stomach.  Now I get to flaunt any rounding-out there is. 

I get to wear elastic pants – as stated above. 

Your libido takes a jump for the better – well you think it is for the better while going through it and I doubt any husbands complain.

Your chest has a tendency to grow – okay not great for you if you are larger busted but once again no spouses seem to complain.

You get to gain weight and have something to blame it on.

You have a great reason to eat the extra serving of pie at Thanksgiving OR turn down that nasty casserole your aunt makes every year.  Just claim you will toss your cookies due to its ingredients being an aversion. 

Your hair and nails grow better and faster than ever before.

People claim you glow.  Frankly that sounds radioactive and unhealthy, but what woman doesn’t love to feel attractive.

You have an excuse of why you are tired and need to nap.

You have an excuse of why you DESPERATLY need to go to a burger joint of ice cream parlor STAT.  (Who doesn’t want to use the word Stat.)

You get a whole new wardrobe.

Everyone is nicer to you, including the public, but not your next door lesbian neighbor.

I know there are a million more things that make pregnancy rock but I will stop there for now.  I am ignoring morning sickness, constipation, exhaustion, food aversions, crying all the time, bloating, swelling, having to push a boulder through a straw sized hole, prenatal diabetes, preeclampsia, and the fact that you will have to someday deal with a toddler.

Holy cow I love my elastic pants.

Pray for our Children

I feel like I should do a short post for Jessica Ridgeway.  I think, that like most, I am heartsick for the family who lost their 10 year old daughter.  It makes me sick that there is yet another predator out there harming the Innocent children. 

Pray for the family who lost their daughter.  Pray that they find peace someday.  I don't know that anyone can ever truly recover from a loss such as this, but I hope they find a way to move forward someday.

This fear is a primary example of why we almost didn't have children.  How can we protect them from the evils of the world?  The answers never truly came.  Just the realizations that we can only prepare them to stand against bullies, avoid strange cars, run from dangerous people, and to grow a thick skin from harsh words.  The issue is though, that we also seem to create a paranoid society at the same time.  Where is the balance and how do we best protect those we love?

The truth is that only 2% of violent crimes are abductions. Of the children abducted only 1.4% of children will be abducted by strangers.  The odds are our children will be safe from strangers but how do you convince yourself of that when someone is abducted only miles from your home?

101 Ways - A Little Help from Unbiased Parties

I thought I would ask those out there how they forgive or get over years of mistreatment, or hurt, or anger?  That might mean you've been mentally abused, or someone stole your homework for years, or a coworker continuously steals credit for a project. 

When the guilty party never actually accepts that they are the ones at fault do you simply turn your back and stay guarded realizing that history has continued to repeat itself?  Or do you pretend like they just might change and then are astonished when something does happen, again?  I have in the past, forgiven and forgetten the first few times something happens, but after the tenth time your constitution starts to waver.  It finally hits you, that yes this will continue to happen unless you make a change.  My change?  I try and create distance in most cases. Sometimes I've stood up for myself just to realize that deaf ears are on the recieving end.

How do you handle a situation where a person in your life continuously wrongs you?  If they swear up and down they are changing what does it take to believe them - when in the past the words were purely said to apparently appease you?

If my problems were spiders I would simply step on them and call it a day.

What's in Your Fridge?

Holy Cow Moment?:  Have you ever woken up to see the cereal in the fridge?  What about legos?
 
As parents we have all been so tired at one point or another that we put the milk in the cupboard or leave out the coffee creamer.  What makes life even more fun is when your toddler can reach the fridge and starts leaving little surprises that make you laugh.  Everyone needs a rubber ducky in the veggie drawer right? Just don't try and cook it.

My house appears to be in constant turmoil. The more my child can reach the more things that I have now lost.  The more she moves the more items that are scattered everywhere.  Yesterday I spend nearly thirty minutes trying to find my makeup.  I guess its like an adult scavenger hunt, just without any clues. 

What would we do without our children to ruin the house. 

Holy Cow no matter how much I try and clean after work and on weekends, she can undo my efforts in less then ten minutes. 

When Mom's Away - Who Knows What Might Happen

Holy Cow Moment ?: I think my child and husband have a better time when I am not around.

It's sad to think that they don't miss me but I think it's a reality when you get a picture as I did today.  Thank you technology for allowing my husband to share the havoc my child and himself were causing to her small hairs.

I shake my head still.  The Text that came through: Look someone found mommies hair clips inspires fear in my heart. No, not because I worry about lost of broken items but because I know my husbands lack of hair talents.  I hope the photos show because I just don't think I can do them justice in words.

Holy Cow how can you not laugh at life.  The one time my daughter doesn't pull out hair clips is when her father puts them in.  Of course. 

Let the Food Aversions Begin

Holy Cow Moment ?: Who knew pasta could be so revolting.

Baby number two officially doesn't like pasta or rather marinara sauce.  Friday morning as I packed my lunch for work the sight of leftover spaghetti made me go running for the bathroom.  Who knew?

My first pregnancy I craved more then I was repelled by, which is probably why I gained a ton of weight. Or, it was a lot, according to those stupid charts that doctors pass out.  You know the ones... The charts that say if you weight more than a bird you can't gain anything.  I always wanted to ask how it is they can tell a poor pregnant woman they are fat. I made a spleen today, what did you do?

Anyway, for now I am cutting out one carb - pasta, so that should help this time around.

Holy Cow everything I knew from baby number 1 isn't going to be squat for baby number 2, at least during the pregnancy.