Saturday, May 5, 2012

When did I get old?

Holy Cow Moment #: I'm sitting in the car with my daughter while my husband buys me ice cream. The child who never sleeps is indeed sleeping, i am taking full advantage. But, as I sit here a new ford mustang pulls into the spot next to me (if this indicates the kind of area I live in); and behind the wheel were two male teens. 12 years ago i would have swooned or whatever it was that teens did; but bot today. No now i curse them and I contemplate rolling down the window and politely asking them to refrain from revving their engine.

Ironic I think, that I used to hang out with boys who had muscle cars, listening as engines roared and loving every second of it. I still hope that my husband-when we win the ever elusive lotto-will be able to have a hot rod again. But apparently I've gotten old since motherhood.

Suddenly I look at tiny tank tops, not with judgement that a girl is slutty but worried she is sending the wrong message to boys- OMG I'm a mom.

I suddenly am conscious of the food i eat...and proceed to eat it because its the only thing I can shovel into my mouth before my child erupts. Good news though, she eats relatively healthy-too bad she is not the one trying to lose weight.

Holy Cow I'm old- mentally anyway. Although somedays physically I wonder if my body is going to withstand a 20lb crazed lunatic I call my daughter. Time is speeding up it seems and even though I feel like I was just eighteen, i wake up the next morning with a new ache to remind me I am indeed not that young anymore-as if the child in my arms lets me forget that. I wouldn't do it any different though.

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