Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Worst Mom Ever

Holy Cow Moment ?:  Have you ever had the moment of ‘Oh God I just killed my child?’  Heavy breathing, massive amounts of chest pain, and rivers of tears later you realize that it was an overreaction… sort of.  Holy crap can our children make us feel like we are the worst parents ever.

Last night as I dipped pretzels into chocolate my daughter was being good although curious.  As I sprinkled orange onto each pretzel my daughter wanted to be a part of the action and somehow lost her balance and thunk, her head met the floor. I panicked over if she would have brain bleeding or might slip into a coma.  Oh and by the way, it is an old wives tail that allowing your child to sleep after a head injury will result in a coma.  So as I watched for signs of trauma she started to act normal and enjoyed the bribery Oreo that I willing handed her.  Anything to make you child feel better, right? 

Several hours later my daughter was quietly dreaming in her bed and my heart was starting to settle down.  That does not mean I didn’t wake every few hours to check on her.  Well morning came as all mornings do, abruptly and unexpected – or maybe that is just how I see the sinister daylight.  As I woke my angel ,she seemed just fine until I returned her to her bed.  From there all heck broke loose.  She wouldn’t stop crying.  Because I can’t stay home I eventually had to give up and hand her over to her father who works later then myself.  Poor man didn’t get any sleep as said child finally stopped crying, but still wouldn’t sleep. 

As I sit at work panicking that she is crying over a head injury I realize that she has me where she wants me.  Wrapped around her little tiny fingers. Every time she pulls my heart is wrenched back to her.  Oh the pain. 

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