Friday, February 17, 2012

Marked it, nested it, MINE – Mom car Revealed

Holy Cow Moment: The mom car is not a new thing to me, or most woman as it turns out.  Even without it being a ‘Mom’ car most woman love to clutter their car.  Men do not.  I figured out why.

Dogs – pee on things to mark what is theirs.  
Men - oddly enough do a similar act, they more or less do a virtual pee.  If they see a man talking to their woman they step up next to them and display some kind of territory dance, if that wasn’t enough I am sure that anyone can see the testosterone oozing off of them.  On top of that there is the engagement ring, the pregnancy (nothing says mine like a HUGE belly on their wives/ significant others).  Well woman on the other hand are much more subtle at marking what is theirs, that and we love to nest by nature.  Nesting is not just for the pregnant mommy, nesting seems to be something most women just do.  

Territory marking starts when little girls come into the world and find the first thing they like – Daddy.  How do they mark him as theirs, well it’s a lot harder to see but most likely daddy has endured some makeup, nail polish or other visual signs.  If that isn’t enough his heart is officially full, no vacancy there and mommy nor any other woman will ever get him back.  

Girls then move onto to their first boyfriend, most likely the kindergarten love. Ahhh David, yes I remember my first boyfriend, safe sex involved separate condos and playing doctor was innocent.  How did I show other girls that he was indeed mine?  Well that’s the thing, I hadn’t perfected marking my territory yet on anyone but daddy.  In kindergarten the best I could do was get his mom to like me therefore making all other girls moot.  Sure I gave him my favorite crayon and sure he held my hand behind the plastic jungle gym but the way to mark him as mine was through his mom.  

In elementary school we doodled on binders and trapper keepers.  We saw a boy we liked we added him to our collage of white out, rainbow assortments of pen markings and whatever else happened to stick to our folders, binders and trappers. Our backpacks were cluttered in key chains, more white out (thanks to the invention of the white out pen), permanent marker, puffy paint and some of those privileged girls bedazzled theirs.  In fact the bedazzle-ers had snazzy canvas Keds too.  So we nested up whatever that was ours and marked the boy as ours by adding him to the nest, sort of like a birds nest.  We carefully weave different elements into our lives and if anything gets removed it all comes crumbly down – girls always great at theatrics.

In high school, well things got more complex with marking boyfriends and our spaces.  We now have lockers on top of back packs, bedrooms, trapper keepers, lunch bags and anything else in the world that wasn’t “marked up” by someone else.  Lockers became Mecca’s of clutter, clipped photos of Zack or Slater from saved by the bell or Chris O’Donall and those ocean blue eyes were tapes and tacky doed to the door.  Locker mirrors stuck to the doors next to the photo of whoever we were claiming as the out boy that month. His photo was proof to all the other girls that he was indeed yours – he’s been woven into the next don’t touch him.  As far as marking our men we tried, I think that in the early 90’s boys would wear a necklace or “chain” -if that is more manly, his girlfriend bought, then the girlfriend would paper his locker with photos of herself.  Of course we had to spill into his space, our space was 100% nested got to move on.  We might also  subtly stop in the hall way for a quick PDA that teachers could never catch but the other girls did, this sealed the deal that he was indeed taken, of course sometimes this worked as a beacon for the school jezebel.

From highschool we move to college or a job where now we start to shack up with our guys.  Now we have to mark not only the man but his space too.  We subtly leave a toothbrush, or a wrapped tampon under the sink – who knows when emergencies hit, maybe a hair rubber band; frankly whatever he wouldn’t scream about we left behind.  What does he do when the marking of the territory becomes acceptable in his world?  Well he proposes, he has officially claimed you as his and marked the left hand which also means your entire being as his.  GREAT!!!  Girl has officially accomplished her goal.  BUT as woman we don’t stop, sure we marked his apparentment up but now Uber nesting sets in.  We must by nature move in, we must take over, we must replace boy colors with bold vibrant girl colors, we must have a thousand pillows of which half are rock hard and good for nothing but decoration.  Once we get married, have the house officially nested and marked to our liking, what else is there?  

Well most likely along the way you have been nesting in your car, your space, your room on wheels. BUT now, now that we have nothing else to mark or nest in around our man our skills go into overdrive because well, officially you’ve nested in everything else nailed down and the male in your life is only going to allow so much re-nests (ie redecorating) so you move onto your mobile space again – and what is that space called?  The MOM car.  

We are nesters by nature, we mark our territory without thinking about it - although much more subtle then men and dogs.  The mom car is inevitable.  If you are one of those woman who has a clean car - GOOD FOR YOU.  But i am sure you have your nesting stash somewhere... check your purse.  If you are battleing the man in your life over your girl car, your mom car... simply tell him that its your space and your are marking it.  He won't know what to say since in his world he mentally peed on you and your car and his car and whatever else he thinks is his. 

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