What I did not know

I didn’t know that tiny hands could grip so tight that you would get bruises and have to explain “No you are not in a bad relationship and yes it is from your small child.”

I didn’t know that a face could turn as red as an apple one second and be normal the next. Temper much?

I didn’t know that a diaper could outweigh the small being who polluted it. This is beyond gross, no wonder blow outs happen a diaper can only take so much.

I didn’t know that you could survive on two hours of sleep. In fact 2 hours of sleep can make you so loopy and happy that you fail to see the stress of the situation you are in. This must be God’s way of making things work out.

I didn’t know that someone who can’t even talk could push your buttons. In fact they can push you within an inch of your sanity.

I didn’t know that afore mentioned tiny human could get you to the ledge where you are just about ready to jump and then smile pulling you away and back to reality.

I didn’t know that I could fit a watermelon out of certain areas and survive. (I am not sure I actually wanted to know this one)

I didn’t know that I could actually sit down for extended periods of time without getting anything productive done and enjoy myself. Although if I have to hear the A,B,C song again from a toy I might run said toy over with my car.

I didn’t know I could balance a child on my hip, clean the dishwasher, eat dinner and listen to the TV and possibly talk on the phone all at the same time. The child on hip while cooking or cleaning seems so 1950’s quaint, but you know what it’s real.

I didn’t know I could find extra money in an already stretched budget. Had I known I had the money for daycare I would maybe have been debt free prior to becoming a mom. (Of course if you figure out the cost of daycare a year you might want to cry even if you are finding it in your budget.)

I didn’t know that I had repressed children’s songs in the deep corners of my mind. At three o’clock in the morning those little random tidbits can be very helpful.

I didn’t know that, although I am already a magnet for strangers and their life stories, that now I would not only hear about someone’s infertility back in 1960 but also I will now also not be able to leave Target or any other store under at least an hour – and all I needed was bread.

I didn’t know that my house was a death trap until a two foot tall mouth showed me just how many little things we had.

I didn’t know how many family members you never knew you didn’t want to see would decide to suddenly be your nearest and dearest – at least while the baby is small.

I didn’t know that falling asleep could be so hard. As my child has shown me you need a little dance-flip, twist, roll, pelvic thrust, twist, turn, roll, cry, get stuck in a blanket, cry more, spin, thrust, roll-and now fight sleep a little more.

I didn’t know that I could raise a child, or that anything would ever be more important that my two dogs and husband. Now I say – what husband? The dogs on the other hand are too noisy to be forgotten.

I didn’t know that I was missing anything until I had my child. Now my arms feel bare without her, seeing her at the end of my work day makes my heart feel full and the stresses go away.

I guess I just didn’t know I didn’t know a lot. Thank you my twenty pound, two tooth terror for teaching me all the things I didn’t know. Of course there are those times that I don’t call her a terror – when she’s sleeping anyway.